


Touch the Stars

by little_abyss



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: End of the World, M/M, Slice of Life, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:13:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29100825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_abyss/pseuds/little_abyss
Summary: Bull examines the nature of his feelings for Dorian.
Relationships: Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Touch the Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ponticle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ponticle/gifts).



One hand in his hair, elbow on the edge of the desk, eyes avid in the dim light of the library. Shoulders hunched. Lips moving a little - Bull can’t tell what he’s saying, if it’s some formula or an incantation, or only reading the words he’s seeing to himself. Is there a solution? Maybe not. Maybe Dorian’s trying to change something that he really doesn’t have any control over - maybe he’s trying to change the nature of people. Breathing deep, the air fusty with the smell of old paper, the murmur of other mages almost forgotten. But then, everyone else always seems forgettable when he’s thinking about Dorian.

A small shift in his chair and Dorian blinks his eyes hard, sits up straighter and glances out the window. For a moment, he seems surprised, then distraught, and he says aloud, “How did the day get so late?”

“Kadan,” is the only word Bull has time to say before Dorian shoves back his chair and rises. His distress is suddenly palpable, and he turns to Bull and demands, “Have you seen Helisma? Dagna? Vivienne? Gods,  _ Solas _ ?”

Bull shakes his head quickly, and Dorian utters a noise of frustration.

“ _ How _ are we supposed to find an answer to this  _ blasted _ question when…” He leaves the end of his sentence unfinished, then snatches up his cloak. “I’ll be in the Undercroft. There’s something here, this work, it’s…” He gestures to the pages before him, then seems to think better of it, and snatches the book up, one finger in between the pages to keep the place. His cloak is only half on, and it trails on the floor as he turns and strides away, head bowed, mind on his work. Bull can only watch.

He knows what Dorian is doing is important - bigger than that, it’s vital. But Bull also sees what it costs Dorian to do it, how much he gives to the problem at hand. How ready he is to prove himself, how much he wants to help, how the two things are bound together. It’s not enough to fight physically, to claw away at the Venatori, to be there with the Inquisitor to close rifts, to make an attempt to restore order… no, this problem is bigger, it’s in the structure of the Chantry, in the relationships between Templar and mage, in the politics of the continent. It’s in the motherfucking  _ soil _ , under the ground, with red lyrium and whatever causes its corruption. It’s as old as time and a new problem all together. Bull knows he’s smart, but even he feels his mind bending at even beginning to unravel it all. It’s a problem so huge that when they close the Breach, they’ll only just have begun to solve it.

Dorian wants to solve it. He wants it with a passion which is unquenchable, a passion which would consume anyone else. Bull rests his chin on his hand, looking at the space where the book had sat, not seeing it. Without meaning to, he smiles softly - because as much as Dorian wants to solve this puzzle before him, as big as it is, he hasn’t forgotten himself. He knows times are changing around him, but his mind is clear, his heart is strong. There’s a strange sensation in Bull’s nose, and quite suddenly, his vision clouds with tears. It’s love. Dorian loves the world, wants to see it change, loves himself, knows he can weather this… and he loves Bull, loves him so much that he’ll show him his frustration, his disappointment, his doubt - in short, everything that he thinks makes him weak. And Bull takes it in, pushes it out as love and support, listens when Dorian speaks, tells him that he loves him. Some days it feels like all they have. Nobody knows the end to this, and that’s fine, it has to be - but Dorian will get as close as he can to an answer, for all their sakes, but he won’t hold onto it if he knows someone can get closer. Bull turns his head, mind and heart listening for the sound of Dorian’s footfall on the stairs, and looks out the window of the library. Dusk is come, and the first star shimmers in the deep violet sky. Bull wishes on it.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago, for ponticle. I hope it serves as a nice reminder for them, and I'm pleased to be able to share it here.


End file.
